11 weeks, 3 days

Well, it is Saturday. No call this morning---no PGN isn't open on Saturday, but sometimes the agency doesn't get word of an out until Saturday. So, it is exactly as I had a feeling it would be---I got no news about what is going on with my case while the director was out of the country. I just had that gut feeling that I wouldn't. So my case manager said that she'd inquire about my case the second the director was back in the country. Why is it that no one but the director can get information about my case? That probably isn't true, but sometimes it feels like it.
I know it sounds like I'm always whining on here, but unless you have been through or are in this process, you don't really understand the emotions connected with it. The "unknown" is extremely scary. Your baby is hundreds of miles away from you in another country, and you when have no contact with her/him except through your agency, it is extremely frustrating when you hear nothing! All sorts of silly things run through your mind like: "did they lose my paperwork, did I get kicked out of PGN and nobody told me, did I get kicked out and am I resubmitted, did I get kicked out and am still out, is my baby happy, healthy, growing, is she/he OK?" Yes, I trust GOD that He is taking care of things and yes, my baby is fine. BUT, I still worry. It is just scary, and if you are like me you either scream or cry when you get really scared. So, I get on the internet and cry to all of you people who read my posts. Thanks for being there with your support.